A child like view

The note on my desk all week read
"I am very certain I will honor myself through yoga on Thursday, September 2nd."

As I rested back in child's pose I remembered what it is I love so much about a regular practice.
Its me and my mat.
It's time spent with my favorite person, me.
I'd forgotten how much I like to spend time with myself.
Forgotten how much I love honoring my body in this very way.


The certainty of my affirmation could have been destroyed all too easily.
I came home early yesterday not feeling at all well and had the opportunity to make up the hours today. Today, the day I had planned to honor myself with yoga.
I toyed with the idea for barely a second and tossed it out with a "That's why I have sick hours."

I love the smell of patchouli swirling from the heat of my skin created as I move through each asana
I love the feel of my hands and feet firmly pressed into the mat
I love the dampness of my shirt and the sound of my ujjayi breath.
I love acting in certainty :)

Reframe the Mirror

Yesterday I complained about looking 'frumpy' in the mirror...even in my dreams...but not necessarily thinking it was a "bad" thing. Back when I was what society would call "thin" I looked at myself and still saw fat. Now, I'm what society might call "fat," but not necessarily unhappy with what I see in the mirror (most days).

Then a soul sista solicited words of wisdom because SHE was feeling confused about what she sees in the mirror too (must be something in the air).

Without even taking a breath to pause and think...I answered her back with this:

Who decides you look bad?
Of course you don't think you look bad when you look at yourself no! You are seeing the embodiment of the manifestation of your dreams! You are vibrationally in synch with (insert your name here), the (insert your accomplishment here). You have begun believing yourself in ways that make those around you quicken their pace to catch some of that mojo. OF COURSE YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE!

You are taking action

You are honoring your true self

You are pulling her to the surface

And when you see her, she is beautiful

When you see her as beautiful...well, you know the rest!

Well it was so profound I decided I needed to hear it too...
And I'm guessing someone out there might too!

Who decides you look bad?

Of course you don't think you look bad when you look at yourself no!
You are seeing the embodiment of the manifestation of your dreams!
You are vibrationally in synch with Babs, the sought after writer, teacher, and healer. You have begun believing yourself in ways that make those around you quicken their pace to catch some of that mojo.
OF COURSE YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE!

You are taking action

You are honoring your true self

You are pulling her to the surface

And when you see her, she is beautiful

When you see her as beautiful...well, you know the rest!

Love, it's contagious

This week I'm in the City of Brotherly Love working a conference.
This is a pretty big deal for me because

1. This is a pretty big conference
2. The team I'm working with includes some "big guns"
3. I have a tendency to devalue my work
4. I have NONE of my support system here in Philly

In looking back over the week that lead up to my departure flight I note some very calculated choices I made (consciously or otherwise) that PROVE that somewhere inside myself...I love and care about ME.

If you've been following for a while, you know that Proud always cometh before a Binge.
I was selected, from how ever many submissions, to be on the team working this conference. Someone believed I 'bring the goods' well enough to add me to this illustrious list of interpreters. *gulp*
Presenters at this event are BIG names within the community and I am putting voice to their words *gulp*
Yesterday, I was on the team assigned to the business meeting...you know, officers, board members, delegates...and I DID WELL. Actually, to coin a phrase my daughter used, I'm pretty sure I 'knocked it out 'da park!' *double gulp*

In packing my bag for this trip I included my yoga mat and one of my yoga DVD's. It's Wednesday and I haven't gotten a full practice session in but I brought them, because I knew I'd need them, and seeing my mat inviting me to partake in a sun salutation in the middle of the day makes me feel supported.

I also packed my nail kit with a fun color for my toes and a professional color for my fingers.
I haven't painted them yet, but seeing my kit on the bathroom counter reminds me I have a way, should I need it, to reward myself for a job well done that does NOT include food.

I'm staying across the street from what has to be one of the world's most fantastic markets so I have access to fresh food and many gluten free offerings at any time and I've treated myself to fresh carrot/beet/celery juice every day I've been here.

I don't feel deprived, I've (for the most part) stopped questioning "Why am I here" and feel good about the rest of the week!

See, there is something to this LOVE stuff afterall :) I've come a long way from just hitting 'publish post.'

Neutral Information

I stepped on the scale last week.

Back in January I vowed to not step on the scale until January 2011

I am a scale junkie
I can step on it 10 times in a row
go pee
step on it again
change my clothes
step on it again
move it to a different part of the room
and step on it again
so I decided to stop stepping on it

But last week, I stepped on it
It takes a bit of effort to actually step on my scale
It has to be dug out from under the armoire and plugged in UNDER my desk so obviously I was on a mission...I just wanted to seeeeeee.
Funny thing is, once I got on it, I couldn't remember what I weighed the last time I stepped on a scale.
For a few minutes I wanted my weight to be less... but less than what?
I thought I would feel bad about stepping on the scale, and I did for a minute or two.
I thought I'd become a scale junkie again...
But honestly, I packed it up and put it back where it lives and didn't think twice about it...other than to 'fess up that I weighed and we're uncovering my need to 'fess up in counseling, turns out there is something to that too.

But for now, reflecting on the scale
it wasn't good information
it wasn't bad information
it was neutral information
which is what a scale is SUPPOSED to be

Shaking in my sneakers

Okay it comes as no surprise to me, nor should it to you...I'm scared about tomorrow
I intended to run a 5K back in October, got a couple sponsors, downloaded a podcast...4 weeks in my IT band was screaming and I stopped training

I intended to run THIS 5K tomorrow
Paid the registration fee, downloaded a new podcast
2 weeks in my IT band was screaming and I had to slow down
I decided I could walk it (gasp, that was a HUGE decision) it's a RACE not a stroll, dear.
So I've been walking on the treadmill, and swimming/running laps in the pool
Coming to terms with the fact that WALKING a 5K is still a big deal.
It's a "Princess" 5K so I'm even wearing a Tiara (that's my Babsness peeking out)

But this week I started wondering if I could finish it in time
You have to maintain a 16 min mile pace or better in order to get a completion medal (there are no top honors...everyone who crosses in time gets a medal.
If you can't do that you're a louse.
What if I CAN'T do that.

Well...considering I've signed up before, and paid before...actually SHOWING up would be an improvement from my previous attempts.

So I go to pick up my number this afternoon
My hub and mini me are coming with me tomorrow morning
I'll do my very best
and be proud that I did

ohhhhhh THAT hit a visceral nerve!







I've been a bit snacky today...I've stayed on plan just been munching my food each time I take a break (every hr) which isn't how I normally do it.

Listen body,
Tomorrow we're going to go for a walk, just you and me
Yeah there will be other people there...they may choose to go slower or faster than we do, but that doesn't matter. We'll do the best we can and it will feel great...you remember that awesome 'zappy electric' feeling we get in our legs after we've walked the dogs? Yeah that! And there will be cool stuff to look at because we're 'walking around the world' at Epcot. So, the view will be good, I'm sure the music will rock and we're sure to see some interesting characters (human and costumed!).
Can we run one of these someday, maybe...would I like to, yeah but if you're not okay with that we can find something else to do. We've both enjoyed being in the pool as of late, and we know we love yoga so why don't we do that anymore?

It's okay if tomorrow doesn't work out the way I originally thought it would. I don't think my original thoughts were very realistic anyway...yeah, anyone CAN run a 5K, and someday I might
Tomorrow, I'm honoring my body
Tomorrow, I'm honoring a goal that I set for myself
Tomorrow, I'm saying NO to JOAN!

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C.A.S.E.

I'm a classic c.a.s.e.-er
I Copy And Steal Everything
If I see it and I like it...I copy it!
Heck, if I like the way you're doing something and I think it could work for me...well then voila! The highest form of flattery!
As we know better, we do better...and if you know better, well then I'm learning from you so I can do better too!
All that to say...I stole this from a fellow conquerer I read and she stole it from this site...

There are definitely days when my effort feels like 'not enough.'
As a wife, as a mom, as an employee, as a student, as a human! And we won't even go into how JOAN can make me feel substandard with a glance...
So, time to think on other things because...

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. Philippians 4:8 ~The Message

1. The things you’re grateful to have

Think of the things you’re grateful for. Food, shelter, family, friends, a car, all the big and small things many aren’t fortunate to have.

• I'm grateful for my job, for my friends, for my Holly Hobbie Lunch box,
• I'm grateful for my hub and kids, for music, my blog, my counselor, for colored pencils and dancing in the kitchen while I put away the dishes.
• I'm grateful for Spirit who loves me and for my resurfacing Babsness! 

2. The things you’re grateful NOT to have

Each of us can come up with something we’re grateful not to have. Perhaps you’re grateful not to have a disease, enormous debts, or perhaps you’re happy you don’t have a lot of money.

• I'm grateful that I don't have MS, that was a real scare last year.

3. What you want to do today

Quick thoughts about the daily goals you want to accomplish and the plans you’ll need to take to get them done.

• I want to get my grocery shopping done and read some more of my book.
• I'll grocery shop this afternoon after work since dinner is leftover lasagna from the weekend and I'll read some tonight while Bm is in tumbling class

4. What the future holds

Think about what tomorrow, the next month, or even the next five years will bring you.

• I look forward to the changes we're making to the house.
• I'm working on a potted garden and can't wait for more fresh herbs to use in the kitchen.
• I'm looking forward to my 5K on March 6th. I'm proud of the fact that I've DECIDED I don't have to be perfect...participating is a HUGE step.
• I'm excited about graduating with my BA.
• I'm excited about writing and teaching and sharing the true knowledge of authenticity with as many people as I can.
• I'm excited to know I'll be able to see Joan Crawford as just another actress!

5. Think about one of your fears

We all have fears, some are big and some are small. Focus your thoughts on one.

•  I'm afraid that we'll get too far behind in our finances.

6. Think of a way to face that fear

Think of one way in which you can face your fear. Even if it’s something small it’ll bring you one step closer to fear’s face.

•  I actually have faced this fear, head on. I pray about it, out loud, with my hub each night before we fall asleep and I've stopped avoiding the situation. I've taken the steps necessary (especially with our house) and I just 'tell it like it is.' Being honest about where I am, what I'm doing and how I'm doing with whomever will listen helps this fear not seem so big and scary
• Gee...sounds a lot like how I'm dealing with JOAN.

7. One new thing you’d like to do

Think of something new you’d like to try. Do this every day you possibly can, you’ll never have too many goals and dreams.

• I'd like to start a podcast.

8. The things you didn’t accomplish yesterday

Think about the things you wanted to get done yesterday, but didn’t. Then plan on getting them done today.

• I would've liked the laundry folded...but Mondays are my long day, so I don't feel any sense of failure for not having done that.

9. Your greatest qualities

Every day think about the things that make you a great person. It’ll give you confidence and ambition to tackle anything.

• I am smart, I am silly, I am a great listener and an encouraging voice.
• I am fantastic at research and love learning.
• I am a great writer and orater.
• I can find the positive in any situation.
• I am a prayer warrior and a great singer.
• I have strong core values and a personal code of conduct that I apply to my work, family and social life.
• I am a talented, skilled interpreter and a budding counselor.
• I am kind, honest-to-a-fault, and validating.
• ...and I like long walks on the beach and dinners by candlelight (LMAO)

10. What you don’t like about yourself

We each have something we don’t like about ourselves. Perhaps you are too fearful, too quiet, or too arrogant.

• I cannot apply any of the above qualities to MYSELF! (ugh!)

11. How you can change what you don’t like about yourself

Think of some ways you can change. Sometimes it doesn’t take as long as you might think.

• Stop listening to JOAN
• She's the one who tells me I cannot succeed and will always fall back on old habits

12. How you can make someone else’s day a little brighter

Maybe send a friend a card to show you’re thinking of them.  Or even just complementing someone can make their day a little brighter.

• I go out of my way to thank people by name.
• When someone does something well, I tell them, right away.
• I admit and apologize when I am wrong.
• I call or text just to say I love you.
• I make time to listen and I'm not afraid to offer a word of mentoring when it is in order. 
• I smile, I'm silly and I laugh out loud.

13. Your life goals

You won’t be able to think of all of your goals in life because you’ll always be adding more to your list. However, think about your current biggest dreams and goals. You can’t forget what you’re aiming for.

• 
  
  I will live free of JOAN
• 
  
  I'll once again have a successful and integrated yoga practice
• 
  
  I will love my body as much as I love my mind and soul
• 
  
  I will be a successful teacher/writer/speaker
• 
  
  I will travel the continent with my hub in a Minnie Winnie
• 
  
  We'll live in a Yurt in Colorado
• 
  
  I'll travel to france with my Soul Sistah and BFF

14. How yesterday’s problems are today’s motivation

Don’t let the problems of your past prevent you from moving forward. Think of how you can use the problems to motivate yourself to change and resolve.

• Those problems are in the past so obviously I have gotten through them...this means I CAN be successful and see things through to completion! There's nothing I can't tackle!

15. You only have one life

Think about this: you only have one shot at life. So make the most out of every second you have. Reminding yourself of this will help you seize each day.

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