Eulogy

Okay...just so you know, you cannot comment on this post.
I've turned off that feature because I don't wanna know what YOU'd say at my funeral, I already know you think I'm wonderful.
Gee, that sounds rather pompous but... writing my own Eulogy is a therapy homework assignment. It was assigned THREE WEEKS ago and due tonight, nothing like procrastinating huh?
Actually, I've tried to start a few times and just this morning got a good feel for where I'm going with it...
but then I realized the POINT of the assignment because I just can't get my fingers to write it, type it heck I can't even say it.

A eulogy (from εὐλογία, eulogia, Classical Greek for "good words") is a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially one recently deceased or retired.
In praise of
*choke*
That's why I can't type
I'd have to say good things about myself
Like I told you...about my therapist? She's good...

So I started with the idea that I live intentionally
(maybe the whole writing in 3rd person was throwing me I dunno)
I want people to remember me for living on purpose.
I consider myself an everyday learner and wish to be so until I have no days left.
As we know better, we do better so my goal is to do better-er every day :P
I thrive on conversation and the intricacies of communication and I love teaching others those same intricacies. I believe communication is the heart of every relationship and relationship is what life is all about.
I'm learning how to communicate with myself.

I truly believe that I can make a difference and in my own little (or big) way, change the world
I believe that I see things in ways others don't and when they trust me, I will share my insights.
I may not always be right, and it's not about being right...it's about where my thoughts and words come from.
My thoughts and words come from a place of pure positive intention. What anyone does with my thoughts, words, or actions once I have done them is not for me to condone or admonish...it is just mine to act out of pure honesty, authenticity.
Hopefully, my actions model the same and I've inspired other authenticitizens and will continue to do so.

I want people to always know where they stand with me.
Honesty doesn't mean cruelty...there are ways to be honest without being mean...but the cruelty one suffers after learning what they believed is a lie is the worst feeling in the world and I never want anyone to experience that pain as a result of my actions or words.

I want people to feel better, better about themselves, their surroundings and their potential, after meeting me.
I want to always have a word, a smile or a look that lets whomever it is know that they are loved and valued; from my daughter to the panhandler outside the local gas station to the politician I vehemently disagree with.

I want everyone to realize that everyone has value and purpose and was created in love.
That God loves everybody...whether you like it or not...so you might as well, cause it doesn't hurt to be on the Big Guy's (Girl's?) good side.

Did you know YOU were created with a purpose?
Not just some hum drum way to drudge through life. There's actually an IMPORTANT reason why you are here. This is why it is so VERY important that you ARE YOU...I mean the YOU you were created to be.
So many of us hide under masks or try to be something we're not...we do this for so many reasons but ultimately it's because for some reason we don't think we're special or good enough just the way we are. OR WORSE that something is WRONG with us.
My teachers always said I talked too much and my friends said I was bossy because I always thought I knew better than they did.
See...those are just my spiritual gifts in hiding
yeah I love to talk...look, I'm talking to you now and I have SOMETHING TO SAY that is good!
I don't think I'm too bossy now but I will tell you...once I've learned something awesome I can't help but wanna share it.

I'm the weird one and I don't mind
I dance in the kitchen while I'm stirring the sauce
I quote random song lyrics at the drop of a hat
I speak my mind even when my voice shakes
I love you even when I don't like your behavior
I believe it never hurts to ask and that it's always okay to say 'no'
I don't have to change the world, but as I change me...the world changes too

I'm far from perfect
I still struggle with my own demons
but I'm honest about them...and I'm changing because of that, and change is good.

I'm a Christian and my faith is the center tentpole of my life
I disagree with lots of Churchianity
I can admit when I'm wrong but will keep speaking when I feel that something just isn't right

Above all, I want you to know that being yourself is the best gift you can give God (Sam, the Universe, your IDA). You were created JUST THE WAY YOU ARE for a reason
Don't change it ...if you do, well then you can't do what you were created to do
because only YOU can do that thing
and we need you
:)

What's Your Theme Song?

So I've been doing stuff that's good for me, even when I don't feel like it.
Today I dressed for the gym after my shift AT work again so that I was already in my gym clothes for the drive home.
While I was changing, I thought to myself, "Yeah, I'm taking care of Babs."

Now if you know me personally, you KNOW I can turn anything into a song and I immediately started singing (in my head...)

Takin care of Babsness

Every day

Takin care of Babsness

Every way

I be takin care of Babsness

She's alright

Takin Care of Babsness

and workin over time

WORK OUT!

Then I giggled...coz it was silly...but I'm still singing it :)

But...If I had to pick a theme song, it would be this one by Concrete Blonde
If I were on Idol, I'd sing this song (never mind the seemingly mocking reference to still being in Hollywood)
It's what I listen to at the gym or in the car or sing out loud to!

Well I was tripping down the street early this morning

And the psychic lady pointed at me

She said come on in and I gave her my money

Said tell me, tell me, what you see

And she said she saw the angels dancing with me

Dancing to the beat of my feet down the street

She said she saw the angels dancing with me

Keep on, keep on, keep on now

Still in Hollywood

Oh I thought I'd be out of here by now

Still in Hollywood

My, my I'm running on a wheel and I don't know why

I don't know why

And I ran into Tommy Pomy

What a goddamned phony

Had a new fish on the line

Well the last one left with the last bad cheque

The only good one that he ever had died

I gotta live and live, I gotta learn to forgive

You know that everybody's gotta right

But theres evil all around in this broken down city

Its a twenty four hour fight

Still in Hollywood

Oh wow I thought I'd be outta here by now

Still in Hollywood

My, my I'm running on a wheel and don't know why

Still in Hollywood

Oh wow I thought I'd be outta here by now

Still in Hollywood

My, my, my I'm running on wheel

and don't know, don't know, don't know why

So let's me and you go get a new tattoo

We can hop on the harley and cruise

We can start at the pier and share a beer

Head out to the desert

I can feel it from here

Ride all the way to where the lizards play

Riding on, and on, and on

Theres a million stars it'll blow you away

It's all so Concrete Blonde

Still in Hollywood

That's right, you know we can ride it out all night

Still in Hollywood

Hey, hey, hey I got to, gottaway, gotta getaway yeah

Still in Hollywood

My, my, my yes I'm glad to be alive

Still in Hollywood

Mama gonna be sombody, someday, sometime

Still in Hollywood

Oh yeah

Oh I wanna get out alive

Don't you know why

Oh I'm doin fine

Oh this is why

Oh wanna be out of here by now...

(What's a matter with you young man
Going to Hollywood, gonna be a big shot
That towns gonna suck you up and spit you out
You ain't gonna have a pot to piss in
Don't come back to me for a job
You made your bed, now sleep in it...)  


Gee...kinda funny how much this voice over sounds like something JOAN would say!