PINK!

It totally caught her by surprise
this switching has become her norm
and today...
she noticed she's reached her first goal!
time to head to the Bath and Body works and pick up her PINK!

I learn a lot from her
she didn't obsess
she wasnt meticulous
she enjoyed the process
and...
she's not glowing any more brightly than she was BEFORE she noticed :)

The art of conversation...

of good conversation
is to have no vested interest in the outcome
to be able to say what needs to be said
and hear what needs to be heard without manipulating the resolution

that's hard when you DO care about what MIGHT happen because of your conversation
but i'm learning that it's more important to have SAID it than whatever might happen because it was SAID

it's more important to me
because I eat when I should talk

I need to talk today
because I need to be heard
not because I need you to do something
if you do something because of my words it is because you chose to do so, not because I said so
the words i have to say could be misconstrued
but that is not because i meant them that way
it is because that is the way they were heard

i am not anticipating an outcome
i need to say these words
they are not judging, accusing or condescending words
they are words i have to say
and they are words you need to hear
because we are in relationship
we relate
we commune

we live
we love
we forgive and never give up
'cause the days we are given are gifts from above
and today we remember to live and to love (superchic[k])

I eat when I have to talk

I have to tell the hub that he has to finish the porch
The porch has been in a state of disrepair for at least 2 weeks (really longer...but 2 weeks ago is when the construction started)

It's bothered me since my gluten melt down.
Construction started, new stairs are built, but the railing hasn't been put up to block off the old stairs and there are still scraps of lumber in the yard and I hate it
It's definitely NOT what I like to see when I come home (especially after a 9.5 hr day)
So I ate today
I haven't binged in about 2 months so I was hyper aware of it
A family meal over the summer showed me that I eat when I have to talk, I'm sure it's so I can stuff the words back down.
So, when he gets home from skating tonight
or sometime tomorrow (if he gets home too late tonight)
I'll say, "Hon, I need you to finish the porch."

I have a feeling since I typed it that way, that's the way I need to say it
Not "can we work on the porch this Sunday"
Not "you know hon I've realized that when I eat it's because I need to say something so I think the thing I need to say is that the porch is really bugging me coz it's not done"
Not "treat the porch like a job and put it on your calendar"

Just "Hon, I need you to finish the porch"

Amen