So sorry if you follow both of my blogs...

this was worth a repost!

The Universe has shown me on several occasions just this week that it is time to stop dreaming and just DO.

My goal?

To be recognized and sought after as an esteemed communication and relationship coach in the areas of personal, social and professional relations.

Turns out people recognize this quality in me...and even seek out my skills already so I'm jumpin' in while I work on the "esteemed" part...

So by July 15th I will

• meet with my web designer and outline launch of my website
• make contact with at least 2 potential mentors who can help me create my fee structure
• contact local organizations (churches, community centers, etc.) and book 3 introductory workshops

Ta Da

So let it be written...

So let it be DONE

School most definitely equals food

Yeah I didn't make it past the drive through tonight
I ate taco bell
yup...gluten laden/fat filled Taco Bell

For some reason school is to food like bar is to drink for an alcoholic
you can't expect me to go there and not ____
yeah
so
I need to come up with a plan
I originally thought I would re-work my schedule so that there is time for an individual therapy session prior to class (at least every other week) ...but my campus is relocating finagling that travel time would be extremely inconvenient
more inconvenient than the after effects of a soothe?

So I give all of you permission (those who have my phone number) to text/call words of affirmation, notes to "STOP" every Thursday between the hours of 4 and 6pm EST. (Yes, I know today is Wednesday...class was changed this week due to the big move...)

I think I might figure out how to send myself email reminders
Heck I think I might figure out how to send myself voice reminders so I don't have to text/email while driving

I'm glad the server was down at school tonight...because had I blogged this as it was unfolding, well I would've had much more colorful language...and while it may have been cathartic for me...it would not be as insightful.

Now I'm just tired
could be because of the gluten
but more likely it's because I've been working a lot and it's been a brain sucking kind of week
I think I'll treat myself to an early bed time

:)

Shape and Size

photo credit

Lately, I haven't obsessed much over food
Joan hasn't spoken in weeks
I haven't really felt bad about my body image or my eating habits
I haven't used food to soothe

Recently, I very matter-of-factly, non judgmentally said "I like my shape, it's my size I'm not crazy about."
I do quite resemble this pear
I'm tiny up top and broad where a broad should be broad.

Years ago I got down to my lowest weight...for all of about a week...then I hovered at 'just low enough to be legal' for about 8 months. I was a leader for an international weight loss chain and had to maintain a certain weight to continue in my position.
When I started reaching out for help from my superiors...because it was getting hard, because I was restricting in unhealthy ways, because even though I practiced what I preached I could not keep my weight down...I got the cold shoulder and I left...and I gained....

That was years ago and a lifetime away from the mindset I have now.
I very matter-of-factly and non judgmentally like my shape and would like to work on my size.
I very honestly think losing 15 pounds would be a good place for me.
Now mind you...15 pounds from now has ALWAYS been "FAT" years ago and a lifetime away from the mindset I have now.

I'm rather proud of this feeling
DID YOU READ THAT?
I just said I was proud?!?!
I didn't even feel an insurmountable urge to backspace and delete it from the page
I felt proud of a feeling
OMG
what an accomplishment.

I think I'll take a cue from George Costanza and call it a day :)

xo

Woman earns Masters with honors, Cannot attend commencement ceremonies because she won't fit out the door...News at 11

There is definitely something to this school = eating equation...
Again today...it was everything I could do to keep myself from a drive through
I did it
I kept myself from every intimidating fast food sign, made it to school and cooked the dinner I packed
I bought 2 diet sodas from the vending machine to make it through the night (4 hr class.........zzzzzzz)

I did start my period yesterday
and I'm missing opening night of my daughter's play tonight (but will see another show)
I even contemplated "skipping" class so I could go to the show but...

• next week is midterm and if I miss review...I'll bomb the midterm (I know this teacher)
• there are other performances this weekend
• my hub, boys, and some extended family will be there tonight

...and most importantly, I was SEARCHING for a good excuse to skip class

which is somehow tied to drive-through desire on school nights

and I can't do either...skip, or hit a drive through

so I'm not

I'm here, in class waiting for the clock to strike 6pm and lecture to start.

I left a special gift for my mini me and hub gave it to her before he dropped her off backstage...

She loved it

She knows I love her

I'm in class

and I'm not eating...

I'll take it

It's a Day

It's 4 days until I start my period
It's the first day of my next class (I've been off for 2 weeks)
It's the 4th day of upheaval and controversy at work
...today I have the munchies, I want something cold (but not frozen), squishy and creamy and sweet.
My body was wanting to hit a drive through on the way to class
I drove straight to school instead
My body thought to grab some cash for the vending machine at school
I didn't.

I only grabbed four!

I did grab a few mints from the candy dish in the lobby
they're not cold, squishy or creamy
but I am happy that I paid attention and was cautious

Focused or Distracted? Either way it's all good

photo credit

I haven't written in a while
Thought maybe I was distracted
but perhaps I've been focused...there is so very much to catch up on but like the white rabbit, I'm late for a very important date...
okay I'm not late but I do feel a sense of urgency probably just because I'm just excitafrickinervous

I did go audition on Tuesday night and today I have a call back audition...I'll write more about that later.

Late Monday night early Tuesday morning the creeping crud decided it wanted OUT of my stomach so I've been battling some sort of stomach thing this week. Last night I finally ate something and digested it.

Some crazy things have been happening at work.
Some intense moments have happened in the house

But I've managed to stay okay for the most part.
Focusing (perhaps over focusing) on this audition has kept my attention so the other stressors didn't have a chance to effect me.

Oh yes...and most importantly, the counter got a face lift
I like it better now :)