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| 1000 statues from trash in Rome |
The lot consisted of me, hub, Bm, Big Bro, Older Sis, Younger Bro and Dad. My mom and dad have been divorced for going on 10 or so years now after 42 years of marriage...well almost 42, the divorce was final days before their 42nd wedding anniversary or something poetically tragic like that.
I've learned to live with this phenomenon...the divorce I mean.
I probably have a better relationship with each parent respectively now that I have individual relationships with each of them but something new is putting me into a funk.
My mom has begun the process of annulment.
She's been dating someone for a while...which is fine. She's an attractive intelligent woman and should be allowed to move on with her life.
She's seeking an annulment so she can remarry again within the church.
This is my father's church too. The Catholic church I mean.
(If you've been reading me for any length of time you'll no doubt infer that it is no longer my church)
This process, to the best of my understanding (which is admittedly somewhat trapped in the brain of a 5th grader desperately searching for a way out of parochial school) basically claims the marriage invalid. Like it never 'should have' happened.
The kids don't revert to being illegitimate or anything like that...but the union that never should have been in the first place is excused by the church because well...they shouldn't have allowed it in the first place (yes, that was me tripping over the tongue that got in the way of my cheek as I tried to say that).
So yes, this process will kill (if not literally then DEFINITELY figuratively) my father.
The one remaining grace he believes he holds onto is his faith so for the church to be the last proverbial nail in the coffin of what remains he has of a 'life story' (tragic sounding I know but this is his existence) will be the end of him. Hopefully, only the end of him as we know it and he will rise from the ashes like a phoenix. Time will tell...
But that's not what has me in a funk
Yes I know...we'll still be considered legitimate children
But if the union wasn't to be in the first place and this is a Declaration of Nullity (weird word) then really the history created doesn't exist either...
And really
Was it invalid to begin with?
I don't think so
I've seen the pictures
Can a story be made to claim otherwise
probably
Couldn't we all write a "I should've known better" story about EVERY decision we've ever made...even the ones we're happy with.
So this is bugging me
This could just be bugging me because it's tugging at my Catholic roots, which I have also been tugging at in EMDR.
It could be bugging me because I want mom to just suck it up...whatever that means
Who knows
but it's bugging me
so I write about it
so I don't eat it
There, now THAT's a beautifully recycled creation.
3 comments:
Thanks so much for sharing my Etsy site - you've no idea how much I appreciate it :-) It's really hard starting a business from scratch, and every bit of support means the world to me!
Sarah x
PS well done for using writing rather than food when faced with a difficult situation :-)
I don't get the whole 'annullment' thing either. I think you should just get a divorce and it is just another chapter in your life. But the whole idea of it 'nevber happening' just doesn't make ANY sense to me. I could see if they had gotten married one night after a wild time of drinking...but 42 years later....I hate to break it to them....you were married.
I don't get it...at all.
So, my post really doesn't help you in any way... it's just me babbling.
thanks
Allie
Ahem...hey Allie...
yeah babbling DOES help
hell most of my posts are just me babbling :)
hugs!
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