2/14/10

Here comes that shrinking feeling....


Right now I am sitting with an angry heart and a sick stomach
It feels like an angry heart
But anger is dominant...and I am shrinking inside...not a very dominant feeling
Focusing on the one bad thing instead of the many many good things
And I'm not even fucking talking about my food issues (yes A, that one was for you!)


This shrinking feeling makes me want to eat...somewhere inside I want to eat
But I don't really want to eat
The hub offered me a stiff drink...I don't really want that.
I don't want to FEEL this feeling...but I don't want to numb it either

I really just wanna let words out of my mouth...the truth hurts
So I need to sit with them for a while
Because I am not a hurt-causing person
I won't hide the truth...but I won't tell you with the intention of hurting you

OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOODDDDDD

I feel like I wanna puke and like I'm in knots all at the same time.

photo credit

1 comment:

mariposai said...

Sorry to hear that you're feeling like this...don't let the ED latch onto these feelings.

Thanks for your comment about integrity...at the end of the day it's one of the most important things we have :-)

Hope you feel better soon.

Sarah x