3/16/10

Asking for a recount

In the 2000 presidential election, Al Gore won the popular vote but lost the election.
If you lived in Florida at the time, you were the butt of the country's jokes as the awarding of Florida's 25 electoral votes was hanging by a chad. It was the closest election since 1876 and only the fourth election in which the electoral vote did not reflect the popular vote.

My decision to write this post does not reflect the popular vote. JOAN doesn't quite know what to think, my body is anxious and my mind is torn between whether this is a 'confession' or just a step in the process.

JOAN has been trying to play the semantics card.
I used food to soothe today...in a different way than I usually have, or mean when I say "use food to soothe."
There you go eating again, if you're really honest you'll write about it...but you won't because you're already wondering whether or not this counts" 


I stayed home from work and school today because I'm suffering from last night's gluten ingest.
My stomach has been VERY unhappy all day and eating has been touch and go today.
I think somewhere in the recess of my mind, this feels a lot like what my stomach would feel like towards the end of a binge and I'd keep eating until the 'feeling' went away.

A couple of times today I ate because I was hoping to get away from the uncomfortable stomach. How backwards right?
I was okay 'food plan' wise until I had some trail mix and peanuts (pretty high in calories/points)
But even if I HAD stayed on plan...my reason for eating was to ease discomfort
I was suffering from digestive distress and I tried EATING to soothe it?

So
I've restarted my counter
Once I pasted the code, I actually felt pretty good about it
My body 'rested' and JOAN shut up
She's still flitting her foot in the background...but she can't say anything.

I'm not going to restrict tomorrow
I didn't eat 'bad' food
I just ate for the wrong reasons
I'm learning not to learn that anymore
I'm sharing what I learn
OUT LOUD

so there...

photo credit

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

So, you reset the counter, but did you make note of how long it had been so you could celebrate that success?

Babsness said...

Yes, it had been 65 days...and still counting, really, because it had been 65 days since I used food to soothe an emotion rather than just FEEL the emotion...so still successful :)

Jennifer said...

I was just reading an article about gallbladder surgery and it reminded me of a major food soothing incident in my own life. In 2003 (I think) I had been having gallbladder attacks for a couple of years, though we didn't know that was the problem and my doctor kept prescribing heart burn medication.

One weekend, while working solo in Corpus Christi, I had a major attack. I could barely do my job and for some reason, I decided that I would just force the pain down into my abdomen by eating. I binged for 2 days on Mexican food (it is good in that part of TX!), Chick Fil A, Krispy Kreme, and Papa John's pizza. My expense account got used up and then some! Finally, one morning I was driving to a work appointment and could barely sit up straight so I detoured to the ER. They didn't do much and sent me home.

I don't know why I though adding more food would solve the stomach problems I had at the time. Maybe because I use it to solve my emotional problems??? Ahhhhh.... I gain such insight for your sharing! There is no room for this kind of stuff on my blog.

Babsness said...

I'm glad I shared
I almost let JOAN convince me there was no room for this stuff on MY blog!
xo
Babs

Lou Lou said...

I LOVE YOUR BLOG BABS, resetting your counter is starting afresh, what a beautiful day of number one!!!!
65 was a long long time, and I applaud you and am so happy for you. feeling lik eyou did that once in 65 days, my what an achievment, I cannot wait till I can count a whole month of non-food-soothing! ill let ya know when i hit the monthly mark!!! x
follow your bliss

Babsness said...

Thanks Lou Lou! What a fantastic way to look at it! JOAN was beating me up...once you start a counter it has to run forever... yeah WHATEVER!
So glad to read you're incorporating Ayurvedic techniques! can't wait to learn more through you!

xo