wow well done babs, i just read your mum post below and i gotta ask... do we have the same mother? i am so sorry she had to treat your daughter that way and i have a feeling you really really feel it because she has done similar things to you your whole life and you are feeling the consequences later, thank goodness your baby girl has a mummy like you who she can believe and trust when you tell her she is beautiful and smart and funny and lovable in everyway. i recently reconciled with my mum and I have learnt the tactic "when you say XXXXX I feel XXXXX" and it has finally began to work, i think iv talked about my mum in therapy for nearly 10 years now, but i didnt talk to her about it. i am 100% sure that my ED is because of my low self-esteem, amd my low self esteem is because of my mother and how I have been raised to feel completely un lovable ad strange. its weird that there isnt a test about becoming a parent and a bit of a guide to tell people how to do it.. but i know that i will be a brilliant mother because of my upbringing, and you will naturally be a brilliant nuturer because you are a sweet soul and you know how important a mother is. well done for pressing send and I hope you are not disappointed by her reaction, Don't feel guilty either, because this can help and im so glad you were open with your sister. i think your incredibly brae and just well done for everything, remember to pat yourself on the back cos this aint easy and you are going through the motions and rome wasnt built in a day remember. so well done you!!!!!!!!!1
Well done for your honesty. It's hard to tell those closest to us how we really feel, but sometimes it's necessary. Hopefully this will give you some closure and make your mum realise that her behaviour was hurtful. Whatever happens, and whatever she says, remember that you are a good person and someone who isn't afraid to be open and honest. These are admirable qualities.
Sarah and Lou Lou you're the best :) I love my blog buddies they always know just what to say.
And yes Sarah, you were right...I did get closure. I received an answer back from mom and she admitted saying those things. HUH WHA? Yes she did pad those admissions with other things but for me, the exercise in the confrontation was to let her know "When you say one thing to me, but tell others another, I feel betrayed, hurt and confused" (did you like that phrasing Lou Lou?)
I said that, she admitted she does that. Done Closure that ucky feeling I mentioned in my last post...totally gone!
just hit send
3 comments:
wow well done babs, i just read your mum post below and i gotta ask... do we have the same mother? i am so sorry she had to treat your daughter that way and i have a feeling you really really feel it because she has done similar things to you your whole life and you are feeling the consequences later, thank goodness your baby girl has a mummy like you who she can believe and trust when you tell her she is beautiful and smart and funny and lovable in everyway. i recently reconciled with my mum and I have learnt the tactic "when you say XXXXX I feel XXXXX" and it has finally began to work, i think iv talked about my mum in therapy for nearly 10 years now, but i didnt talk to her about it. i am 100% sure that my ED is because of my low self-esteem, amd my low self esteem is because of my mother and how I have been raised to feel completely un lovable ad strange. its weird that there isnt a test about becoming a parent and a bit of a guide to tell people how to do it.. but i know that i will be a brilliant mother because of my upbringing, and you will naturally be a brilliant nuturer because you are a sweet soul and you know how important a mother is. well done for pressing send and I hope you are not disappointed by her reaction, Don't feel guilty either, because this can help and im so glad you were open with your sister. i think your incredibly brae and just well done for everything, remember to pat yourself on the back cos this aint easy and you are going through the motions and rome wasnt built in a day remember. so well done you!!!!!!!!!1
Well done for your honesty. It's hard to tell those closest to us how we really feel, but sometimes it's necessary. Hopefully this will give you some closure and make your mum realise that her behaviour was hurtful. Whatever happens, and whatever she says, remember that you are a good person and someone who isn't afraid to be open and honest. These are admirable qualities.
Sarah x
Sarah and Lou Lou you're the best :) I love my blog buddies they always know just what to say.
And yes Sarah, you were right...I did get closure.
I received an answer back from mom and she admitted saying those things. HUH WHA? Yes she did pad those admissions with other things but for me, the exercise in the confrontation was to let her know "When you say one thing to me, but tell others another, I feel betrayed, hurt and confused" (did you like that phrasing Lou Lou?)
I said that, she admitted she does that.
Done
Closure
that ucky feeling I mentioned in my last post...totally gone!
Score one for the Babsness!
xo
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