I said it before...

but I'm saying it again ... here... so I can find it when I want it
Original post Oct 27, 2009 here.
Unfortunately, the collective blog has faded...

Today (whatever number it is, its just another day in the process)
I'm glad to be here again (although I've always lurked) and I agree with the masses that having a place to share is good therapy...but only if its honest sharing and there is a comprehensive goal to sharing at the conclusion...or the first mile marker (month 1 ...or 2, or 2 thousand as it may be for some of us).

See, I'm not sure the ONLY point to a blog like this is to keep us "honest" or find camaraderie...for me anyway, maybe we can find a common pattern, maybe from that common pattern we can begin to find real life solutions.

My personal life journey has taught me that western medicine and medicinal thought does not always hold all the answers (mostly because they don't even bother to listen to the questions) so we can join as soujourners, learning as we go.

If we're just here to commiserate and gripe...then we're missing out on half of the journey, and perhaps the most imporatant part...what CAN we learn what's the feedback from our perceived failure?

I say perceived because we can't learn from it if we don't experience the failure...and if we keep experiencing it (over and over and OVER and over and over) then there's obviously a life lesson we're missing

It may not (and very well might not) be the same for all of us...but the journey and exegesis of the lessons will probably follow a similar path so rather than just join...let us BAND together through the process.

Honestly, I'm not quite sure what this means our blog has to look like (has to is the wrong choice of words but i'm just flowin here so go with me...Karen knows I have a thing for runonsentences)

Maybe this means we need to include (or attach somewhere) some statistics of our days...not just emotions but intake so we can see how they relate
we can find common triggers
we can compare symptoms
we can come up with REAL LIFE solutions
because really...
do any of us just want to continue our "do overs" each month hoping that THIS will be the month?
I don't...I want to see change...and that doesn't necessarily have to be in the size of my clothing, although it would be nice
I'm working on acceptance and recognition of my beautiful self...no matter what she looks like
I get the feeling that once this is achieved...any superfluous pieces of myself will melt away
i'm holding onto this fat for reasons other than "I eat" because even when I'm good...it doesn't want to go anywhere...

so my goal for today
"It's not about being good or bad...it's about understanding why"

Love and peace to all