ins(omnia)pired visions

I saw her

during my futile attempt to fall asleep i decided to look for her

the topic of my IOWL podcast yesterday was coming up with a design

and using positive language

instead of saying...these are the things I don't want...gotta say what I DO want

the example given was one of building a house...you can't tell the builder "well, I don't want this, this or this" and expect him to build the house you want

same for my body

I gotta decide what I want

in my wildest dreams what body do i want

an interesting suggestion was to look forward 5 years and see what you want to be

it can't be "what I was in high school" or what I looked like when I was thin (which is a different mind set for me since I st, ill have "skinny" pics laying around that I look at all the time)  coz i don't wanna be who I was...I wanna be who I'm supposed to be

oddly enough, my funky yoga "toward" shirt still fits because i've never worn it, but i can 'see' my future self in it

okay so anyway...the visualization

it was actually really hard...i was so very "tired" when i got home from work but i couldn't fall asleep (a common thing for me) and after about 45 minutes of not falling, i inserted the earplugs, put on the eyemask and gave myself an intention i wanted to see her what do i look like 5 years from now

it was difficult to start

i have this awesome jade buddha ring that i know will still be with me then so i started with my hands and saw my rings on my fingers, my nails were short and my hands were "healthy," worn but not old looking, i had 2 chakra bead bracelets on (i miss those...time to reinvest) a pink one and a green one (gee...i do have heart chakra issues) anyway...

my skin was tanned lightly just from being out in the garden or on the porch with a healthy glow to it and my upper arms and shoulders were strong...not bulky, but definitely toned

i could see my sleeping buddha tattoo on my shoulder "popping" because it's a "spherical" tattoo and the structure of my shoulder added to that

my hair is long, all long, one length except for a little bit of bang...i couldn't really tell whether it was highlighted (chemically or naturally) but it was definitely healthy and flowy and a bit unruly and maybe had a dread or 4 in it

my eyebrow piercing was back in and i was actually able to see my face ( I usually can't do that when I dream or visualize myself) so it meant something to really be able to SEE me not just some image of what i wanted to be

it took a while to figure out what I wanted to wear

when i was driving home and listening to the pod cast, i thought "okay, the new me may be a bit kitchy, a pin-up YEAH, vintage hair, fair skin, classic make-up and funky little outfits that show off my tats (or not, as i choose) 

but when i started letting myself wander in my 'wanting to sleep' state, i couldn't bring my rosie the riveter image to life and crunchy mama kept floating to the top so i went with it

I was wearing a rust and cream patterened bohemian tank top with a v hem that my waist peek-a-booed from and khaki cargo capris (the bottoms were hard...I had to clear the "can't wear those" thoughts outta my brain but HEY I wasn't sleeping so I had time)

i think i fell asleep while I was trying to figure out what shoes to wear

actually, think at that time i wondered if my "i'm a skater's wife" persona piped in and said hey what about your long tees, skinny jeans and skate shoes so my new self wandered into vans and started shopping...turns out crunchy skater chic works for me