grateful frugality

What if I ate because I had to? What if my food choices were based on what is available?

It’s easier to think about these things now given the current economic climate. It really may be that I only have $50.00 or $100.00 to buy groceries to feed my family of 5.

But it’s honestly, deep down inside, the way I want to be.
I never wanted to strip the dignity of my children growing up and wanting to order of the “adult menu”…graduating from a kids menu is a big deal… but if you’re not going to eat the food, why order it? Just because you can seems like an awfully selfish reason.

So, if what I consume at each meal is all I can “afford” it is also probably all I need. If I’m forced to be frugal with my food, might I not learn that I’m very well nourished, and fed?

I’m working on being more mindful
Mindful of what goes into my mouth (as well as what comes out of it)
(What if) we are on a fixed income and there was only so much food
I wouldn’t die
I wouldn’t suffer
Heck I’d probably save money on clothes because I could go shopping in my closet

So I’m living like a pauper
I’m reframing this thought in my mind though because although we may be struggling a bit financially, we are far from poor in the world’s standards.
So the reframing looks like this…I’m eating this much because it’s all that I need, not all that I can afford. (I guess that works no matter how thickly ones pockets are lined!)

Yes, by default I will eat less
But I’ve been doing that more lately anyway (eating less, more often…not eating more)
It may be a challenge given my dietary restrictions (gluten free doesn’t always come cheap). I think I may become more appreciative, and more present, of what and with what I eat…and “they” say when you are more present while eating…you feel the sensation of satisfaction more quickly…therefore removing the need to continue eating.
“I’m gonna enjoy these 5 bites of sandwich because they’re the only 5 bites I’m going to get…I’ll savor and taste each one”

This morning I had an egg, 2 links of sausage and half an orange with some coffee
I made myself a ham and cheese sandwich on the GF bread I baked last night, packed the other ½ orange and some cherries and a jamfrakas bar.
I ate the bar with some warm water mid morning. For lunch, I ate about ¾ of the sandwich…I wasn't hungry for any more ... haven’t had the fruit yet.
I carefully re-wrapped the rest of the sandwich…it seemed awkward, it was only ¼ of a sandwich that most people, even I a couple of weeks ago, would’ve thrown away. But it “may be all I have” so I’ll save it for when I need it.

It’s now 4:10 in the afternoon…a point in time when I’m usually stark raving mad because I’m famished (how ironic is that) and I’m quite satisfied. Really not even thinking about food except to type this entry and to realize that I still have some food in my lunch bag.

My family is having hamburger helper tonight
We received a CASEFUL of ground turkey for free from a friend who drives a truck. (a vendor left it on his truck during a delivery and didn’t want to pay to have it shipped back so they just told him to keep it). The middleson LOVES hamburger helper and I’m working on doing things for the kids that the KIDS want to do (no, I won’t prepare overly processed crap everyday but after a long day at work ..sometimes easy is good and middleson was ECSTATIC when he heard what was for dinner so I’ll take the bonus points).
I can’t eat hamburger helper…it is definitely not friendly to the GI-me so I’ll create a meal out of what we have left, being grateful that we have something I can make myself rather than grumbling because there is nothing I “want” or have the taste for.

Perhaps this exercise will help me lead with my stomach rather than my mouth J

I want my kids to be mindful of this kind of thing too…Bm, because I don’t want her to develop the mindless eating habits I did at around her age. The boys because I want them to find their identity in more than just graduating to the regular menu and buying the most expensive thing on the menu. It will be easier than when I tried to do this before…(see this is how I instinctively want to parent) when money was no object and the hub said “let them order what they want.” Maybe in having to practice frugality, we’ll find gratitude, we’ll find satiety, we’ll find nourishment in other things and yet still be fed.