It doesn't seem like it's been that long and yet even my counselor said I've accomplished so much in such a "short" period of time
She showed me tonight how I'm definitely not where I was when I first walked into her office back in April...and we definitely have charted a path of where to go from here
being honest, I wish I had something more physically tangible
But that being said...I am proud of all that has happened in the past 6 visits...
- I've found the source. The little voice (literally) and little me that harbors my attachment to food
- I am developing a relationship with her (little me) and we talk about why she feels the way she does, what she reaches for and why
- MY PAIN IS GONE...I guess that is a tangible, perhaps not the kind of tangible I was looking for but definitely something I can FEEL
- Instead of blindly going through a binge then lamenting afterward...I sort of "shirley maclaine" it ...the auto-pilot eating still happens, but I can see it and begin my inner dialogue with little me.
- I'm speaking to my feelings (and about my feelings) more now...if I can avoid the them getting stepped on, perhaps I won't have to eat to quell them.
So it's time to move forward...time to move from shirley maclaine to buddha
I need to tell myself to stop once I've started...and listen
and then, I need to learn how to circumvent the triggers that get me to a binge in the first place...or even mindless eating
eventually I just won't go there
:)
1 comment:
from maclaine to buddha....is there a middleman somewhere in between?
"step away from the (insert name of binge food here)" i can so see myself saying that outloud in a police voice
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