Great session

Have I mentioned I love my counselor

she's awesome

I'm so glad I took the plunge

tonight wasn't so much about me...well it was...but it revolved around Bm

I DO NOT want to parent out of fear

I find myself doing that whenever she and I talk about body image or food issues

Bm often asks for a sweet at night

usually it's ice cream

and I've been trying to squash that

asking her what she "really" wants

turns out she probably just really wants something sweet

she's not like me

she CAN eat just one cookie

she Can eat SOME ice cream out of the container each night and have her quart last a week

she doesn't have to have a tiny container

she has restraint

So I need to let go

if she can't have it coz I can't afford it

that's one thing

but I don't need to "police" her intake

because she doesn't have my problem

it's my problem

Funny, it's actually a routine of hers

a routine! yes she has a routine so it IS possible

(she seems to be a flighty, fly by the seat of her pants kinda kid unless it's something she is uber focused on like reading or cheering or fashion design)

So *glimmer of hope* this new intention of mine to develop some new coping skills for her Aspie symptoms just got some encouragement :)

mindfulness of what goes in (and out) of my mouth

turns out they are very intricately connected

when there is something that I need to let out of my mouth, but am reticent to (for whatever reason) the "hand to mouth" behavior happens

when I let the something out of my mouth

the "hand to mouth" behavior stops

direct connection

good to know

I'm still being mindful

this week...mindful of eating within my means

yes, I'm looking at it financially...what if I ONLY had this to eat

I'm "training" myself to find satisfaction in what I have

Like now...

tonight I had therapy after work

I knew I would have to "eat on the road"

I gave myself a $5.00 budget

stopped and bought some sushi from the grocery store (with a penny to spare!)

enjoyed my sushi before my appointment

satisfied

I'm home

there is food available

the family ate something gluten-laden, so I can't have that (yes, that was intentional)

but there are other things I could eat

But I've had my dinner

I could say I'm a little bit hungry

but in all actuality, my body is nourished (according to what it needs) and my "hunger" seems to be stemming from my mouth...not my tummy

so I will not eat

the food that is here is meant for the rest of the week

it has purpose

would we make it the rest of the week if I ate some

yeah probably

but that's not the point.

Besides...it's 10:15 and I should be readying the bed...not a plate :)

So that's what I'll do