2010: The year I make contact

It's meeting night and I didn't go...but I had a good excuse and it wasn't JOAN.
I've been sick since Monday...tried to work Monday and Tuesday to no avail and went home early both days. I figured staying home Wednesday and sleeping ALL DAY would kick it but woke up this morning even worse than I've been all week so although I would've much rather stayed in bed, I managed my way to the doctor and $130 later, I'm on the mend.
Bronchitis with the added luxury of Sinusitis mmmmm, but had I not gone to the doctor it could've wound up pneumonia so I'm thankful I went, thankful for health insurance, and thankful I had the money for my co-pays.

Had I not gone to the doctor, I also wouldn't know that I put on 13 pounds in the past year

Yeah, could've done without that one
It's really not anything I didn't already know
and yes, she reminded me that it's true weight gain because my clothes weren't that heavy
she said that 3 times
ugh
"What happened to cause that"

ugh well gee doc,  I ate!
I started to blame it (in my head) on my gluten intolerance since nothing that is made to be gluten free is low in calories but that's a bunch of bunk
I almost told her I'm in therapy for my compulsive overeating
but I didn't
I got my meds for my horrible symptoms and went home

Why? I think because since I've seen her last she's become a Medifast pusher. Every door, every hallway had a poster promoting the positives. I don't know how a meal replacement diet can be considered positive. The tag line on the smiling model's poster said something hokey like 'with Medifast I didn't have to worry about what I eat so I could focus on Why I eat.'

I tried something like this before. I tried calling Jenny. I felt like such a buffoon. There was no thought whatsoever put into opening a box and pushing a button it actually made me feel WORSE.

Okay so no, I'm not happy about the 13 pounds of 2009
Especially because I was not happy 13 pounds ago

I think that's all I have to say about that right now

But yeah, the meeting...I'm just now barely breathing again so I stayed home recuperating
Work tomorrow
I've found an Ala-non meeting for next week and I bought this book

Yup I'm nervous about this
I've been reading about abstinence and it sounds well...BLAND
broiled, boiled, skinned, blah
but I'm not presupposing
and I'm not jumping ahead
and I'm not an expert
I'm just me...and I'm still on this journey
I'm in a different place than I was in February of '09
I understand some of my body's issues (my gluten intolerance), I've rid myself of my chronic pain, mood swings and general dis-ease, and I'm confronting JOAN
yes...2010 is the year I make contact...with ME


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